A British testimony...

wow! call me different, awkward or just plain weird...but i am in LOVE!!! yea, In LOVE!!! I'm so in love with the English language... hahaha, gotcha goin' huh? Yea i know, that was lame...
Sorry guys, actually as some of you know i am an English major and i was reading Tom Jones, by Henry Fielding. There is a passage that really jump out at me after hours and hours and hours...did i mention hours of reading? So i decided to dedicate this blog to it.

!!!WARNING!!! !!!WARNING!!! !!!WARNING!!!

if this kind of stuff bores you...please don't be obliged to read just because these words are leading your eyes straight to it "To this I added another study, compared to which all the philosophy taught by the wisest heathens is little better than a dream, and is indeed as full of vanity as the silliest jester ever pleased to represent it. This is the Divine wisdom which alone to be found in the Holy Scripture: for they impart to us the the knowledge and assurance of things much more worthy our attention, than all which this world can offer to our acceptance. Of things which Heaven itself hath condescend to reveal to us, and to the smallest knowledge of which the highest human wit unassited can never ascend. I began now to think of all the times I spent with the best heathen writers, was little more than labour lost: for however pleasant and delightful their lessons may be, or however adequate to the right regulation of our conduct with respect to this world only, yet when compared with the glory revealed in Scriptures, their highest documents will appear as trifling, and of as little consequence as the rule by which children regulate their childish little games and pastime. True it is, that philosophy makes us wiser, but Christianity makes us better men. Philosophy elevates and steels the mind, Christianity softens and sweetens it, the former makes us the subjects of human admiration, the latter of Divine love. That insures us a temporal, but this an eternal happiness"
Book VIII, Chapter 13

I hope that wasn't too boring. Man, i really love how it is put, i need to find something else that compares evolution with Christianity.

whirlwind..

i think i'm caught in a whirlwind and everything around me is speeding by like crazy. when i think it is over, it comes back. when i think i just missed it by a hairline, i actually missed it by a leg. when i think i finally understand, i find out i totally missed the point. yea, this is crazy...i'm so confused...

i need to go and eat chocolate...

soooo heavy continued

so where was i? oh yeah...ever since the Lord took me on that reality trip, i have examined my life a little bit closer and i did pretty darn well, if i should say so myself. But lately, i have been so busy with everything i am involved in that i let those things crowd him out, even though those very things are part of his ministry. I said to myself, once these things are over and done with, i know i can do much better for Him. He deserves everything of me and not the left over...and so with this thought i continued my day...

yes...one day leads to another, until i finally got a wake up call from God. this past Friday was our youthworker meeting and i kinda knew what we were going to talk about and of course God who is always in the midst of us, speaks profoundly through Alex ( our high school pastor). i mean, no one left there the same way as they came to the meeting...every time! But i was not prepared for what the Lord would say to me personally.
What God said to me was, the time is NOW. why do i have to wait until so and so is completed? I need to do it now. There are people dying now, this very second. the adversary is not going to pause his attacks on God's people just because I don't have time to do battle. In fact, he takes advantage of these moments when i am busy to do his worse because he knows i am not available. that's one less worker for the kingdom of God that he has to deal with.

When i thought i couldn't handle anymore breaking at the moment, the Lord proved me wrong. I came home that night on my knees and crying my heart out. I have never cried so hard in my life. it was like worse than hurricane Katrina...seriously. i was in the backyard in the middle of the night crying into a pillow so i wouldn't wake anyone up.

soooo heavy...

you know, a lot of people say they believe in God and yet their life doesn't reflect it. How sad huh? You know what's more devastating than that??? It's people who say they love Jesus Christ and yet, they are not willing to get out of their comfort zone to reach out to the people around them. Jesus said you love me when you love my people. He ask Peter three times if Peter love Him. Each time, Peter said I do. And Jesus replied the first with "feed my lambs", the second "tend my sheeps", and the third with "feed my sheep".

I know the Lord has been cultivating my heart, mind and soul to reflect more and more like him. Ever since I asked God to help me see with His eyes and love with His love two years ago, i wasn't prepare for the full intensity of the answer to that prayer. Everyday the Lord reveals the full propensity of sin and the destruction it brings layer by layer. It came to the point that i was literally breaking inside. I began to perceive sin the way He viewed it. i hate sin. But what really broke me was when He began to show me how His people allowed things in their life to crowd Him out. when i say break, i really mean break. i cried. tears that i was not used to shedding came rolling down at the thought of how we give the adversary the upper hand by not making Jesus first in our lives.

(sigh) this is serious but it is 1:38am and i have to wake up 6:00am in the morning. i will continue some more. goodnight for now